From Sunrise To Sunset

I feel like i’m playing catch-up with this blog. I don’t really care about the fact that no one’s probably going to read it, it’s really only for my own benefit- I want to sit down and remember this stuff, and then have a record of it... and if that does mean taking time out of the period in which I should be studying, then ‘carebare’ ;) For the past 2 years, I haven’t really enjoyed Aberdaron. Last year it was disappointing- things happened that I don’t want to have to talk about ever again, relationships between people broke down, the teens weren’t as united as they were the previous year, rumors started circulating and frankly after Sweden, it couldn’t even get a toe near the fun i’d just had. But anyways, I went back expecting very little, but got quite a lot. KS and DB were so sweet and made me feel like i was part of the group. I fainted in the sea, which insanely embarrassing and also very scary, so i won’t be jumping off that cliff again! You know, sometimes I go to Aberdaron and I feel accepted and appreciated, yet other times I’m there i feel as if i’m alone and isolated. I just wanted to stay in the Vasterang spirit for that little bit longer, so I spent a lot of time chatting on my laptop, something I regret yet don’t regret at the same time... Vasterang was a place where i felt like i belonged, where i was appreciated, where i was part of a family, so to be suddenly transported to a completely different country, where I felt almost the exact opposite, was a little too much for me to handle. However, kitchen-utensil ping pong and freeze pops soon took my mind off of things... for a few minutes at least! MB was on crutches the whole week, which made going to the beach a little difficult, but to be honest, it got him enough sympathy for lifts, lunches and attention, so I doubt he minded one bit! I felt bad for him, especially as I had left his pain medication at home when I combined my 2 bags on the station platform (but someone brought it up later) so that i could get me, our 2 suitcases, his bag and him on crutches onto and off of 2 trains, but he didn’t seem to be too badly affected so it wasn’t too bad. I am so envious of him in that he is so calm in these sorts of situations; i panic for the both of us and he is calm for the both of us. On the other hand, he was in agony when he got off the plane because of the bad landing, and no one was there to help us down the mile long stretch to baggage claim, and he was beginning to lose his cool exterior a little bit. But on the train, I realised how lucky i am to have him. You know, some people grow up without a sibling and to be frank, I don’t understand how they do it. We borrowed each other’s stuff, did errands for one another, helped each other get to where they needed to be- on the trains, in the trains and off the trains- and talked for hours about music, life, Sweden, relationships, parents, future plans and everything in between. Don’t tell him this, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him. Since he’s now too strong and i’m too weak for us to physically fight, we now insult each other, and everytime i know i’ve hurt him and he’s hurt me, I just think about how someday, I’ll be seeing as much of him as dad sees auntie E, which really depresses me actually. What with NC leaving as well, I’ve come to realise that people aren’t around forever, and we need to spend as much valuable time as we have together having fun and appreciating who each other is, before it’s too late.

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